This Is My Carving Shirt

We all have that one shirt. You know the one. A little crusty, possibly stained with blood (yours), acrylic paints, coffee, and maybe something you hope is just some Black Walnut Danish oil. Well guess what? Now it’s official.

Meet the “This Is My Carving Shirt” performance tee — the moisture-wicking, sweat-deflecting, sarcasm-saturated declaration of woodshop dominance. Finally, a shirt that tells the world exactly what you're about without needing to explain your forty-yard stare and your pocket full of basswood curlies.

Crafted with the kind of high-performance fabric that Under Armour dreams of when it closes its metaphorical eyes at night, this shirt is built for long carving sessions, unexpected knife slips, intense bouts of creative overconfidence, and the occasional emergency trip to the ER (you’re fine, it’s shallow). It’s breathable, flexible, and tough—just like the people who carve caricatures for fun.

Key Features:

• Lightweight, moisture-wicking material: keeps you cool while your carving falls apart

• Athletic fit for maximum movement and minimal judgment

• Pre-shrunk and cut to survive shop life, accidental glue blobs, and dramatic sighing

• Logo reads: “This Is My Carving Shirt” — because you’re tired of explaining it to your in-laws

• Comes in solid woodworker-approved colors like Dusty Flannel, Stain Rag Grey, and Probably Oak

Whether you're carving in your garage, at a festival, on your front porch, or pretending to "just clean up the shop" to get out of social obligations, this shirt is your silent partner in crime. It’s the uniform of the wood shavings elite. The chosen garment of men and women who know the true power of a sharp knife, good grain, and just enough denial to start one more project.

Bonus: Studies* show that wearing this shirt may increase carving confidence by up to 73%, and decrease unwanted small talk by 200%.
(*Not actual studies. But, like, you can feel it.)